If you’re wondering about what friends with benefits really means, and how it differs from a fuck buddy, or you’re wondering how you should act in a FWB situation, then this article explains it all. We’ve got everything you need to know about friends with benefits relationships right here.
What is a friends with benefits relationship?
Let me start off with a definition. When people talk about “friends with benefits” it mostly means two people with a non-committed relationship. They hang out, flirt, and have casual sex. This situation is not a typical fuck buddy situation, because it is usually in a situation where there’s a friendship also involved. You might have seen the famous Justin Timberlake movie Friends With Benefits, but it’s really not like Hollywood makes it out to be.
This can be an easy situation to get confused with. In fact, a lot of people think of an FWB relationship as sex without an emotional connection. But that is only half the truth. For instance, let’s say you’ve got a great friend and she’s interested in you too, but you’re not dating anyone. This friendship can turn into a sexual relationship. It’s when two friends decide to have sex.
A friend who you’re sexually interested in can be a good way to learn about sexuality, because you get to experience a new experience. You get to learn a lot about your body, about yourself, and about what sexuality means to you.
If you’re sexually interested in this person, but you don’t have feelings for them and you’re not dating them, the relationship between the two might turn into a friend with benefits relationship. The two of you can fuck free of any attachments of a regular relationship.
Don’t be FWB with someone you have feelings for
People can usually tell when you have feelings for them, but if you’re in an ongoing friendship relationship, they won’t. So if you start to have feelings for your friend and you’re into the sexual part, it may make things awkward.
If either of your feelings goes the romantic way, things will probably complicate. Being friends with benefits, with sex and romance can be really fun, but it can also be a bit frustrating, because you miss out on the other benefits of a relationship. Often, adding sex to a pre-existing friendship can be a brutal mistake.
An example of one of our relationships went very bad. She was my bestie for a very long time, and became my fuck buddy after we broke up with our partners. Our friendship was really good. We were both into the sexual part and knew exactly what we both needed in a relationship right now. She’s a friend first, and when it turned into sexual relationships, it broke our friendship apart. The early stages were great since we were both on the same page, but we struggled to gain our friendship back at the end.
Be emotionally mature enough for a sexual relationship
With all types of relationships, it is very important when you start to have those feelings to be emotional mature. You should already be in the mindset of an emotionally mature person. People in this situation really need to be emotionally smart and mature. If you find yourself getting emotionally tied up, maybe you should take a break from the situation.
If you’re already in an emotionally developed position, this shouldn’t be much of an issue. Be sure you’re in a supportive position as well. Sometimes people do get really emotionally attached to someone else, but that isn’t something you want to be in a friends with benefits situation. You want to protect your friends, and try to be in a good position for everyone. Being attached to someone or having feelings and emotions for someone can be really fun, but when it becomes something unhealthy, that’s not what you want.
Set expectations for your FWB relationships
You should already have a pretty good idea of what you want and don’t want from sex, and from a relationship. It is really important to set up these two things before you start anything. It may sound like a lot, but it is very important. Once you’ve established these boundaries and expectations, then you can try and do what you like sexually.
A lot of people have problems when they experience friends with benefits, because they feel the need to try and change the relationship for it to fit what they want. It is a lot easier to relax and to have fun if the two of you have already set up and agreed on what you’re looking for.
Be open about your sex life and be safe
Transparency is very important in all relationships and friendships, and this is not an exception. You shouldn’t try and hide anything. Sex is fun, but it’s also a little bit risky. It’s important to be responsible and transparent when you and your sexual partner are trying to be safe and have fun.
You definitely want to be open, and honest. For instance, there are things you can try and do to keep a level of safety. Try not to do anything out of character that you wouldn’t do for another person. There is a chance that you may have something you need to try and overcome for your relationship, such as a sexually transmitted infection, or a STI.
You may have other concerns that you want to be responsible about. If you’re worried that your partner is having sex with someone else, maybe your best advice is to ask them about that. If you have any concerns, it’s not fair to force them to keep something really important, like the safety of a relationship, a secret.
Don’t be lovey dovey in casual relationships
Because you’re in friends with benefits, it really isn’t fair or right to be lovey dovey to your friend. If you’re really worried about a friendship being just sex with no romance, then maybe you should get out of it and find someone you can develop a relationship with. If you are wondering if you’re truly in love with someone, it may take time. You get to develop feelings after you’ve been around someone a couple of times. You need to be together enough to develop these feelings.
This means no romantic dinners together. No moonlit walks around New York City. No midnight pillow talk about your hopes and dreams. It doesn’t mean that emotional support is completely off the table, but the sole focus of your relationship should be on your sexual chemistry.
Don’t be jealous!
Being jealous is not a good thing, and can really be frustrating at times. Remember a FWB relationship is non-committal, so don’t be jealous if your FWB is hooking up with other people.
You are not in control of someone else’s sex life or their feelings for you. That is why you need to make sure if you’re jealous that you just need to let it go and move on. Don’t put pressure on your friends to hang up with their new sexual partner and become closer to you. Just let it go and enjoy what happens.
Don’t catch feelings!
You shouldn’t ever try and catch feelings. If someone else has feelings for you, it’s important that they tell you this, so you can both be emotionally aware. The whole point is to have fun, and feel good about yourself sexually. Don’t get caught up in love drama and start making decisions. If someone tells you they’re falling for you, then you can decide what you want for yourself and that person.
Try and make good decisions for yourself. Ask yourself if this person is worth it, or should go back to being friends with benefits. The point of a friends with benefits relationship is to enjoy that friendship and have these experiences, while keeping the casual relationship simple and uncomplicated. You shouldn’t get caught up in making these decisions, if you have feelings for someone other than your FWB. Let the relationship develop naturally.
Prioritize the friendship over the sex
Remember you’re friends first, and that comes before the sexual part of the relationship. Don’t let friends with benefits go the way of romance relationships and become a thing of the past. You can still be friends when you’re sexually involved, and have the relationship together.
If you’re looking for a site to meet someone you can be friends with benefits with, then our app Cougar Hookup is a great place to start. You can sign up for free and start chatting with girls in your own city, and with our vast number of users, everyone’s bound to find a compatible sex partner.
